Heya all, so I have been naughty and not blogging these days.... So here's some updates on what I have been busy with....

I have been busy making handmade christmas cards!!!
This is a pull out card... Cute???  (⌒▽⌒)☆



Another handmade Christmas card which opens up into a pretty box! *(*´∀`*)


Spent time finding inspiration on home decor and also picked the hubby from the airport...
Yup he travels quite a bit and as for me, I get presents from all over the world... loll...
The latest presents from Sweden is pretty and quirky ~ Bird house key holders.



I have also been busy learning how to be a good wife!!!

And boy~~ It's not as simple as it seems. 


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Being married and being boyfriend-girlfriend is quite different. I find myself constantly studying my hubby so I can improve and help make his life easier. I find myself often asking myself this question,"So what can I do today to make things even better for the people in my life?"

I have come to realize that if I want my spouse to treat me better; it means I have to help make his life easier and better, in return it will make my life easier and better.

And to make his life easier and better, I need to stop giving him what I need, instead, I started learning to give him what he needs.


Eg: A doting husband buys everything for his wife -- latest iphone 5 / imported gadgets / ...., but not knowing, what the wife needs is affection and a little time. What the husband is doing is buying stuff that he thinks would make him feel good, not what is truly good for the wife.


Before marriage, I used to have this attitude: "I will not act like that, so they shouldn't act like that neither." However, after marriage, I realize that this attitude of mine will not help solve problems. Everyone is different so I learnt to manage my expectations better.

So how do I know what my loved ones need?

I started to learn to listen to them attentively.

I started to learn how to read between the lines.

A simple statement like "I wish we could go out for dinner." --- truly means I wish we could spend some time together.

So as a sensitive and good husband, please DON'T reply with a -- "I wish so too but now is a busy period for me."


BE SENSITIVE!


Here's an example, when your husband tells you:"Whatever I do for you, doesn't seem to make u happy." Try to understand that this man is crying out for your attention and approval. the way you meet this need is by affirming them," I think you are a great husband, I appreciate everything that you do."


If you learn to give people what they need and not what you need, your relationships will become better and better.


Here's another example : when my husband is stressed at work, I know he needs some time with the bros / some time playing soccer. This helps him to destress. When he is ready, he'll tell me what made him stressed.

Although what I need is to hear him talk to me and tell me his issues at work. Vice versa, when I am stressed, all I need is to sit down and talk to the hubby and have some sayang sayangs from him. If he were to tell me,"Why don't you go kick some balls. Works for me all the time!" I will kill him I swear. HHhhhahahahahha... What I need is for my husband to understand what I am going through and for him to tell me that it is ok. He is right there, fighting my battle with me! He also knows that I can handle my own problems, and that I just needed to vent it all out. He would try DAMN hard to not provide me with solutions not unless I asked for it. lololol =)

I also learnt that if I want happy relationships surrounding me, I need to give people my undivided attention.

I learnt to stop what I am doing and give them my undivided attention -- this means PUTTING my hp aside. And for me when I get nagged at, I would continuously be cleaning some part of the house -- cleaning the table with a cloth or packing stuff on the shelves lol... I have to learn to be a good listener and also learn not to interrupt. I have to learn to be considerate and even if the story has been told 1 million times, I should learn to be more patient.


Giving your loved ones your undivided attention only shows that you care and that you are concerned.


Relationships can also be enhanced if we all try to give in alittle.

What about dealing with difficult unreasonable, mean, hateful and unpleasant elders?? Sometimes they drive us up the wall! How can we keep giving into their demands all the time, I sometimes ask myself this too.

Well I have come to a conclusion that when dealing with an unreasonable elder, we should try to practise selective hearing. Sometimes, the older one becomes, the more one would come to realize how little in life is in one's control. An unreasonable demand deemed by us might actually be a way for an unreasonable elder to try to exert control and have something to care about, so that the person making that demand can feel as vital and important as the younger people around them.

Age can sometimes worsen a negative personality trait too, for example: An irritable person may become cantankerous, an impatient person demanding and impossible to please. Unfortunately, the person taking care of the elderly parents is often the target of this bad behavior.

I've come to realise that it's good to be patient with older unreasonable people, even if they're so exasperating at times, because they are providing me a glimpse of a possible future when I become old.

It is also good to read up and learn constructive responses to his/her behavior so that you can still maintain your sanity.

So how do you enhance your relationships?
Do share with me your tips~~~