Today, I shall touch about what I call "Relationship Destroyers". 


These are the top 3 problems that relationships encounter that might lead to break-ups.


1) THE EX!



Taken with a Sony alpha A57K
Dollie collared top white & mustard skirt both from Avenue of Chic

You may think that it is always a competition with the EX. Everyone has a past right? And it is highly unlikely that you do not have a old boyfriend / girlfriend as well. So because everyone has a past, what is more important is to recognise the fact that YOU ARE NOW TOGETHER! This means, you have already won the "competition" -- an imaginery one at that. REMEMBER that you have the baton in your hand now, and if you truly love your partner, then hold on to the baton. Treasure the baton and enjoy the moments you have with your current partner!

REMEMBER!!!!!!!!!! ITS NOT A COMPETITION WITH THE EX!!!!

YOU HAVE ALREADY WON!!!!

The ball is currently in your court, it all depends on how you handle the situation now.

OR, there might be old flames who just won't fuck off   back off. These old flames are actually DRAMAMAMAs / DRAMADADDYs who are the cause of all your endless dramas and jealous fits. If you know that your current partner is really upset when you see an old flame, then decide what is more important to you -- your current relationship or your old relationship. If you decide that your old relationship is more important then let go of your current relationship, vice versa. Think about this : Is a meal with an old boyfriend / old girlfriend really worth the shoutings and arguments that sometimes last for days?

Relationships and love is sacrifice packaged in a sweet deal. So if you love your partner, learn to sacrifice. You would have a much better relationship.


** My personal take : Now you see why I took so long?? 30 then get married? hahahahahaha Learnt so many lessons so I am just passing you some tips so as to save your time... AND SAVE YOUR YOUTH!!!!!! To me, all are friends, break up already, can still be friends. But this caused a rift in many of my past relationships. So I learnt to manage expectations -- thankfully, my husband is very understanding! =) **





2) Old Hickeys!

Taken with a Sony alpha A57K
Pleated blue chiffon romper from Avenue of Chic

Everyone has issues -- dependency issues, endless financial issues, drug abuse issues, self-image issue, self-worth issues, abandonment issues, impulse behavioral issues, bipolar disorder issues etc etc.

It is important to understand your personal issues and inform your partner of them. Teach them how to react to you when you have your emo-momo moments. Both of you need to be realistic and understand that as humans, we are all shaped by experiences. Learn to adapt to each other's style and you would develop a love so deep, nothing can tear you guys apart!


** My personal take : When you learn to adapt to each other's hickey's, you form a bond that makes you so much closer. For me, my husband had to understand my OCD issues (obsessive compulsive disorder), I disinfect everything upon reaching home. I had to understand my husband's obsession with soccer. At times, when I am talking to him, his reply would be," GOALLLLLL!!!!!!!" hahahahaha... and instead of getting annoyed and starting to rant, I laughed. Once you understand each other's issues, it would make life so much easier!**



Now, we come to the ultimate relationship DESTROYER.....



3) THE JEALOUS AND POSSESSIVE BRAT!


Taken with a Sony alpha A57K
Mint top from Avenue of Chic
Skirt from F21

REMEMBER THESE 2 LINES:
1) If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away.
2) If he doesn't want you, nothing can make him stay.

When you are possessive and jealous, it makes your partner feel caged and trapped. It makes them think of you in the negative sense and this would slowly lead them to put on their get away shoes and plan to run far away from you. The reason this happens is because when you try too hard to make another person do what you want against their will, it makes them feel that you are reasonable and also claustrophobic. Just take things easy and go with the flow. Before you get together, discuss with your potential partner and list down boundaries. If both of you keep within the boundaries agreed, you would be embarking on an awesome relationship!!!! One of the very best ones of your life!!!!

Allow your partner some personal space every now and then, have some "me" time to yourself too, and your relationship will progress to such a level of trust than you'll never imagine!!

TRIED AND TESTED by me.... totally worked!!!

**My personal take: I am a very very very 拿得起,放得下 person since young. No point trying so hard to cling onto someone. Just let them do as they please, since all of you have to understand that as humans we all have the freedom of choice. REMEMBER that ALL OF YOU ARE BORN A FREE MAN/WOMAN, so don't put your partner on leash! **


Now that I have highlighted the three top "Relationship Destroyers", and ways to handle this "inner demon" (or "outer", for some =p), I hope that my tips would contribute towards your building a happy and healthy relationship.



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Till the next post~~