It's common that at some point of our life as women, we have gone through struggles in our dating life. One of the reason might be that the "SIGNALS" we give to the guy we like is pretty MISLEADING.
HOWEVER, I have discovered that MEN are actually SIMPLER than we conjure them out to be. MEN do not understand our "hints" nor do they decipher why women like to put them through "psychological tests" at all.
I have understood through my relationship with my hubby that when I say,"Ok, go and do as you please."; when it's totally NOT OK to me at all, he doesn't get that my statement is a loaded one.
The same is true if you say "we can't sleep together anymore" but then continue to sleep with the guy... if you don't back up your words with an action, he is going to think, "Oh she doesn't really know what she wants, clearly she enjoys this as much as I do." And he'll continue to sleep with you.
Of course, it's not always easy for us girls either.
We want him on the one hand, but we also want a RELATIONSHIP with him.
There's a lot of conflicting advice on what you're meant to do if you're with a guy but you're not exclusive.
Some of the excuses men use are:
* I love you but I'm not ready to be commited.
* I like you very much and I can see myself with you in the future, but I'm not ready right now.
* I'm not sure what I want right now.
Men will keep you stringing along on the hook like this because the truth is they want to see how much they can try to get out of you!!!!!!!!!
AND when women are unclear of what they want, this makes matter worse!!!!
If you and your guy are sending the signal that you both don't know what you want, then you're going to go straight for doing things that are most pleasurable in the moment - being close and intimate - but also getting BURNT in the long run, because this doesn't keep him from seeing other girls.
The only way you can stop the guy you like dating other women is to become exclusive with him, and by being exclusive, you can BOTH relax into a secure space of REALLY getting to know each other and creating deeper love and intimacy together.
YOU NEED TO GET THE GUY THAT YOU LIKE TO COMMIT TO YOU!!!!
So how do you do this?
#TIP 1 : THINK CAREFULLY ABOUT what you want!
And behind the scenes, you know he is still browsing dating sites or flirting with 10 other women, right?????
Okok, I might be over exaggerating a little here, but you get the idea?!?!
I am sure you want an exclusive and commited relationship, not a pretend relationship.
SO, YOU HAVE TO THINK ABOUT WHAT YOU WANT and ensure you write it down so that you can..............
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Pointy Edge Patterned Collar Necklace from My Mannequin
Taken with a Sony α (Alpha) 57 DSLR Camera
Also, do mentally prepare yourself to hear what he has to say. It might not be what you want him to say. Sometimes, he might appear hesitant and might even use excuses that most other men use. BUT THAT is totally okay!!!!!! Be confident that you will one day meet the right guy, because the right guy will defintely treat you right! No matter how painful it might seem now, the pain will not remain.
The point of this "talk" is to get things out in the open so he is clear about YOU want. THE MAIN POINT IS he must know what you want in order to do things differently. Understand that most men need guidance on how to please you and make you happy so you need to give him specific instructions!!!!!!!!
Once the talk is over and the result is an "okay, let's give this a try", then you need to learn to BACK OFF.
It is important to realise that it does more harm if you go back to acting the "pretend" boyfriend-girlfriend thing.
Backing off is not completely block him out of your life. Backing off just means you're no longer going to play this game with him.
Eg. Avoid being alone with him. Avoid all sex talk. Avoid talking about how either one of you feel.
Keep EVERY SINGLE conversation platonic! BE FIRM!!!!!
If he wants to date you again, ask him if he is seeing anyone else or have plans to see other women. This will give you an idea if he wants to get more serious with you. You shouldn't go ahead and start dating him again until he can confirm that both of you are exclusive to each other.
TIP #3: Dress to IMPRESS
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Taken with a Sony α (Alpha) 57 DSLR Camera