GODDDDDDD.... It's been ages since the last Beauty Tricks post....

ANYWHOOOOO, Its 3 More weeks to my Big 3-0. *FML*  =p 

I've not been celebrating my birthday since I turned 21. The reason is because I felt that by "avoiding all celebrations BUT BUT accepting all presents" I would not age at all. 

*wishful thinking on my part la I know I know* 

Don't need to start counselling me on embracing the aging process yada yada, thanks!!! I just want to delay this process for as long as possible.So if you can't see things my way, at least agree with me to disagree ok?! 

(〜^∇^)〜 heh hehヾ(゚∀゚ゞ)

That said, this query came in just as I was lamenting over growing a year older. 

hahahahaha  (´∇ノ`*)ノ

Ok this week's query :

I totally can feel you, babe! If you don't already know, I broke up with my ex bf of 6 years. I never said the real reason but it was because he has been cheating on me for the last 4 years. Given the fact that I too did not have any feelings for him for the last 5 years. Our relationship has come to that state that we are more like friends than lovers. We do not hold hands when we go out. We do not date much simply because I was happier being alone at home than out with him. Don't ask me why, I just felt more at ease being alone at home! 

We do not talk about anything except about designs of clothes or some aspect of work.

He tells me :"I love you." 
And my general reply would be :"Orh ok." 

Our relationship is monotonous, dull and boring. No matter how I try to perk up, I am not able to be enthusiastic at all. Please don't get me wrong. I am happy but not overjoyed. I am comfortable but not at complete ease. I am satisfied but I know its not 100% perfect. I know exactly who I am in that relationship but I do not know exactly who he was. 

Given that, because everything was _________________ soosososooo flat and boring. I guess it might be because I got tired of being happy and perky and the only reaction I got was a dead smile. 


And each time I receive that dead smile, my enthusiasm dips a little until the day it reached the pits. hahahahahah ~~~~ 


After 6 years, we suddenly decided that we have both tried and it wasn't working out. We broke up in late July 2011 and parted ways in early August 2011 - we were cohabiting then and we both went our separate ways. I handed the entire business and my jobscope over to him and decided to just cut him out of my life. I am a very very 拿得起放得下 type of person and I am pretty happy-go-lucky. But I have to admit that I am pretty disappointed, at him but mostly at myself.

P/s: I have had absolutely no dealings with the company ever since 1st August 2011. Any inabilities to manage and/or lack of organizational skills should be his sole responsibility.

I found out about the two-timing 3 months before we really broke up when we were in China with a friend.

(Don't ask me how I found out about the two-timing la ok... I don't want to share la. =p Secret! =p)

Disappointed with myself because I felt that I have wasted a good 6 years.


And at 29, I find myself single and pretty unsure of what I truly want in a man. 

*Jia lat!!! Bangs head against the wall...* 

This became more eminent to me when I started getting lots of dates and from being introduced to this friend's friend, that friend's friend's brother and so on and so forth. I started getting picked up while I got locked out of my new house and I was dressed in pyjamas and specs and sitting on the floor.  

*Flicks hair not bad for someone at 29... Thank god for all the facial masks and serums and creams I gor and bua on myself daily.* wahahahhahahaha..... ヽ(*⌒∇⌒*)ノ

Anyhow, I realised that deep within me, I have no idea what type of man I want. I have never been single before not for the last 12301928319238 years. Okok I am not that old, but ever since I am old enough to start being in a relationship, I have not been single. 

This got me thinking.... 

Inner voice 1 : "WAH LAU! You dunno what type of guy you want? Then how to choose now?"

Inner voice 2 : "Jia lat... okok I got idea!"

Inner voice 1 : "Don't suggest some stupid playful idea now la. BE SERIOUS! *slap slap* You are not young liao you know!"

Inner voice 2 : "Orh ok lor.... then I got no idea.*puppydog eyes* hahahaha"

Inner voice 1 : "Okok I tell you what. You sit down and list out the qualities you want to see in a man. Then we see who fits the bill best!"

I started listing out the type of guy I would very much like. 

And I started only going to places where this type of guy would most likely be at. 

Not at the clubs la please.... SO DARK, you can see meh? 

I mean like if you like studious guys, hang out at borders or libraries. 

If you like artsy guys, go to more art galleries.

If you like holy guys, go to church and join their activities.

If you like sporty guys, go to the beach or join some sporty event.


And and and and......... 

You have to first love yourself before you are able to love someone else. Loving yourself means to only undergo any form of change FOR YOURSELF!!!!!!! And not for anyone else.

**Shall repeat myself just in case you people misunderstand/ put words in my mouth/ think that I am insecure / crazy or whatever you all like to think la.... Headache only!!! I did not undergo plastic surgery because of the ex bf ok! I underwent surgery to upgrade my 'engine' ok!!!!! hahahahha 

And if the guy only loves you for your looks then PLEASE THIS IS SURELY THE WRONG GUY!!!!

More on.."How to meet the right guy..." in my next blog post, k!!


magavril lim said...

u r fabulous! i love ur post! yes we mus love ourself b4 loving others :)

Jacqueline said...

Thanks babe! =)))

Tina said...

I can relate well to this post. After breaking up with my boyfriend of 7 years who cheated on me repeatedly, I felt as if I had been robbed of my time. But the thing is I've little interest in finding a guy. I like looking good and just concentrating on myself in terms of career and goals. I don't think those who look at girls like us who pursue beauty (plastic surgery or not), understand what we're really about. That is... To live happily for ourselves.

Jacqueline said...

Tina : WELL SAID BABE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I think we should all adopt this attitude : "Be Curious! Not Judgemental!"