Just came home... And I heard about my friend's breakup over the phone while driving (yup bim is back).... I swear I'm gonna bite you if I get into an accident... see I made you smile at last... =)

I personally do not believe in "forever love", "without you, I'll die" that kinda crap. No I'm not an apathetic woman. I conclude I'm like this because its the way Life has shaped me to be. It's impossible to cease to exist just because of a heartbreak or an argument. It's impractical, absurd and futile to even use DEATH as a threat especially in the breakup scene. Before your partner stepped into your life, I believe you were living life adequately. Not perfectly but adequately. Why would things change if your partner decide to walk away out of your reach?

I know heartbreaks are painful, in fact, heartbreaks torment the soul. But you'll not die from heartbreaks. In fact, heartbreaks make you stronger. It helps you to realise what you want from your new partner. It makes you more resilient to future pains.

And after every heartbreak, people tend to blame each other or even worse blame each other's God. Now (meaning I didn't think like this before), I believe you shouldn't have expectations of others, only expectations of yourself because only you are in control of your own life. Just like how he/she is in control of his/her actions, you cannot expect him/her to do something and then get upset when he/she doesn't do it for you. Whether or not you are in a relationship, I believe all you can do is expect and meet your own targets only.

Life is not all about BGRs, if he doesn't treasure you then he's not worth anything. Not worth the tears, not worth the pain, not worth your thoughts even! And the only person who can help you out of a heartbreak is not your best friend, not a decadent lifestyle, not work neither; the only person who can help you out of heartbreak is YOU, yourself. (AND lots of letters to God, of course! It works for me. =p)

After so many stupid relationships I've been in, I have decided to stick to MY IDEAL GUY list and forgo anyone else that doesn't fit the bill.

Here goes:

1) FILIAL TO HIS PARENTS!
Its a basic need to fulfill. If he cannot love his OWN parents how can he love yours?

2) PATIENCE
Patience is one of the most important virtue EVER! At least to me it is, because I believe a patient guy will not turn into an abuser. Usually, someone with a foul temper tend to have abusive disposition. ( PLEASE NOTE, I said USUALLY, not everyone with a foul temper are abusive.)

3) KINDNESS
Kindness to everyone including the kopi-soh at the food court. Kindness to ANIMALS too please!!! After so much pain caused by fiends, I swear I will slap those who treat animals unkindly!

4) SENSE OF HUMOUR
At the very least, on the same wavelength as me.

5) LOVE ME FOR BEING ME
Even when I am pms-ing. Torturous, I know... haha =)

6) HUMBLE
Humble enough to admit his wrongs.

7) HARDWORKING PLEASE!
Hardworking enough to build a career and not blame every tom, dick and harry for his predicament. But not a workaholic. Striking a balance between working hard and placing family above work is vital.

7 simple criteria, but oh-so-difficult-to-find. Not. Anyway, you'll probably note that I didn't include points like caring, loving, doting etc; these are actions stemming from the amount of love he/she folks out for you. (NOTE: caring, loving and doting ARE ACTIONS not mere words!) If he/she loves you so very much, then they would care unknowingly and dote on you willingly.

Besides, I don't really agree with warped beliefs like weekly arguments are common . I believe if the partner is the right one i.e your soul mate, you'll still argue but maybe like once in a whole year? Because as soul mates, you tend to agree on almost everything, except for an occasional hiccup or two. Plus, you get to be yourself around your soul mate. Being yourself allows you to express your views/ideas, making you feel greatly valued. In fact, having a soul mate boosts your self-esteem.

I believe your soul mate aids you in fulfilling your dreams and not hold you back from them. Soul mates know what you want before you even spell it out.

So why mope over some stupid guy/girl? Life is GREAT, there is way too much to do!!! Crying over heartbreaks is a waste of time! I'm not saying you shouldn't cry but at least try to wake up as soon as possible. In fact, all those tears would only make your eyes puffy, it wouldn't bring him/her back. The only way to curb with heartbreaks is to treat yourself BETTER and pray that for your soul mate would quit hiding from you.

Besides, a soul mate would still pine for your presence after your demise; and, a soul mate would look forward to meeting you again in heaven, preferably. =)

Collin Raye - Love Me




P/s: I'm sure you are strong enough to shout NEXT very soon! =) hugs...