"But ask yourself this: Have you ever lost someone you love and wanted one more conversation, one more chance to make up for the time when you thought they would be here forever? If so, then you know you can go your whole life collecting days, and none will outweigh the one you wish you had back.

What if you got it back? "

That last conversation.... with someone you love and has gone to heaven....
That last conversation... with someone you loved and has moved on...
That last conversation...

I wish I can tell the world I am strong but in truth I am not. Its not that you are a burden, its just that I am too battle weary to see you through the other side. I know I shouldn't indulge in my own problems but I can't help it. Maybe I am selfish. Maybe its human's nature. Maybe I am just not strong enough for you nor for anyone else for that matter.

Don't ask me why things turn out this way. I too do not know. And its weird how I knew somehow there's this fine thin line that was just way too much for me to handle and I just know that it was never meant to be and things would easily turn out this way. And I dread it with all my heart.

So I have to fend for myself. Worry for myself. Because no one was there. No one ever was... there's no one to rely on... not friends... not even family.... Some things we just have to handle it on our own because friends can support you through but not understand all your stress, be in your shoes nor carry all your burdens for you.

If my heart had a voice I just wish it can say sorry... but nah even that didn't sound right... I can't remember the last time I truly felt sorry for anyone except myself. I am selfish beyond redemption.

I have let everyone down with my selfishness... and I doubt they want my apology anyway. Because even "I'm sorry" sounds so hollow. And I don't see why I need to apologise anyway...


CONVERSATIONS with my life MENTOR

=):"Are you ok?"

=( : "ok lor."

=):"Moody?"

=( : "abit"

=):"Look the people who put down your religion when something goes wrong are the very people who doesn't see their own mistakes."

=( : "but where got ppl say things like that one?"

=): "If you were perfect you wouldn't need God. And obviously you are not perfect so you need God and when something goes wrong, these people cannot see that you are human afterall and you make mistakes and so they blame God. Can you see the analogy that these people have? Its called IGNORANCE."

=( : "ok maybe if I am left alone for awhile I would shelve my moodiness away."

=): "I'll pray for you."

=( : "=)"

Sometimes in life we don't need advise which everyone is so full of. We just need a simple prayer. Thank You for praying for me. I know you all care so much for me...